// Letters to YVYNYL //

Nallo - Anger and Figureheads

 / It would not be a stretch to say that we’re all feeling a bit weary at the end of this decade. Depending on your perception, it’s great/terrible news that we’ve only got another month to go and we can see the doors open for another fresh ten years. Minnesotan Andrew Ranallo wrote me this letter a while back, but I think he really puts it in plain perspective. Can we let go of our anger? Can we pull down our figureheads? I think we’ve got it in us. I know that moving forward is important, but remember… there isn’t anything but NOW. Soak it in. 

Dear Mark,

Going to start with an admission: For me, your blog and this letter are a convenient time capsule—a place to put feelings that are deeply personal but that, if published, could help someone else who may be facing similar things. 

But even if I write this and it goes nowhere, it’s a perfect way to tie up some loose ends that have been bouncing around for a while.

The song and video I’m sharing come from the exact center point between progress and struggle. It’s that point of a growth period where you’re angry enough to express it and want change, but still haven’t processed enough to understand your feelings. A conflict in motion.

In 2019, I took serious space from some major, and unhealthy familial relationships. Not only because they were dysfunctional and frustrating, but because I reached a place of feeling hopeless: Nothing else left to try. 
Beyond the mental health struggles and interpersonal dynamics, these relationships fell victim to 2019 itself. Internet trolls on the bottom half of the internet. Conspiracy theories. Panic. Pizza Gate. Hate. And truly, the current anxiety of American life itself. 

Watching someone you love struggle so much, and also having to step away, is painful. And, now with some time, I can see that it was this pain and hurt that formed the foundation of the anger that fueled this song. So while it’s an expression of anger and frustration, it’s also a detachment and a hands-in-the-air submission to the uncontrollable swirl.

Now, with some time and space, I also see it as a release—writing, producing, and singing this song a hundred times for shows and recording has helped me set it down, forgive (in my heart, if not in person yet), and prepare for a new way forward.

Thank you!

Andrew

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