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Ten Sleep - Roommates

 / Kingston, Ontario’s Kynan Forsberg sent me an intense Letter about his music project and the importance of making music as therapy. You’ll have to dig into this one to get to the meat of it, but he’s dealt with some serious darkness to make his art. 

Hey Mark

Rob and I announced the release date of ‘Roommates’ and it’s music video today. Our first single from the upcoming EP: 'Suburban Lore’ and it’s made us realize some things that, maybe we knew all along, but didn’t know how to process.

'Roommates’ is about that inevitable rite of passage that every young adult is forced to go through; living with a shitty person or people. Maybe they aren’t shitty at first, but for some reason having to live with them changes that perspective slowly and surely. 'Roommates’ pays tribute to this effect. Though at face value it sounds like no more than an ode to the independent 20-something, to me it means a lot more.

After being forced by family circumstances to live on my own with a lifelong friend, in a city and lifestyle that I’d never been accustomed to, I had some really great experiences, but it also kinda sucked. While my previous delusions about people and priorities dissolved with older memories of a peaceful solitary life, I became depressed.

Coincidentally, leaving home had more to do with what was leaving me behind than what I would be leaving behind.  Growing up, my Dad had produced a second family in Taiwan that he left us for when I was young. Inevitably our house was sold in the wake of my parent’s divorce settlement, and I fell face first into a bonfire that same year at age 18, nearly suffocating. Upon recovering I moved to Kingston where I quickly adapted to shutting people out my life, only coming up for air to tell them I’m okay.  Having an obscurely removed father, a near-death experience and no one to talk to, I learned to shut myself off.  My friend whom I lived with drifted apart the following year.

During this time I went into a state of depression. While shutting myself off, I casually denounced my self-worth and let it fester.   The only way I felt I could “talk about it”, it seemed, was by writing it as music. Which might sound corny, but at the time it was very private and it served similarly as a therapy session so to speak, and got me through what I couldn’t see an end to.  

Now having recognized that I don’t have to deal with it on my own, I’ve realized the importance of sharing it and talking about it.  Which has inspired me to embed pieces of its upheaval into our process.  I wish I would have done it sooner, and although songs like 'Roommates’ hold difficult memories attached to them, it’s relieving in a sense to know that I don’t have to carry them alone.

For me, the 'Roommate’ in question, was depression and anxiety. A sort of co-dependent relationship bent on keeping me inside and afraid of what’s out there. A fear to feel like it’s worth it. It’s something to live with, that can’t be completely controlled, but also doesn’t need to be listened to.

And even though the song wasn’t written to be this way, it definitely happened. Whether it was sub-consciously or coincidentally, it just turned out this way.

Though I’m doing a lot better now, because I’ve learned to ask for help, which in itself changed my perspective, it’s interesting to find that what we’re writing about has matured as we have.  We’re embracing who we are on 'Suburban Lore’ and debuting a new identity for ourselves as 'Ten Sleep’.  'Roommates’ is a cathartic way to start it off. It’s unlike anything we’ve done, and was made entirely from instinct and for that I’m pumped.

Thanks

Kynan

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